The Return of Rumblings of a Caffeine Addict

yes, i know i've been missed. (okok...everyone stop making funny faces and noises). Truth is i've been constantly reminded this week that i've been really slack with my blog...hey!! i did warn you guys very early on. Plus, i must add to my defence, alot of things have been happening so...i've been tied up (yeah...i know what you guys are thinking...excuses excuses) well...one of the things that happened was that we lost us broadband as "Techno whizz" had a "great" idea of upgrading to ADSL2. i mean...come on...what's the real difference but let's not get into that...so...for like almost a month we have had to bare with a dialup which was only set up on 1 computer. okok...so...i'm slightly sobbish and won't use his computer. well...for one thing..it's a massive desktop computer in the other room which is really cold. It's not the same as my laptop that i've an intimate relationship with and can carry around everywhere (though, it's getting old and rather sluggish...and makes strange noises sometimes...but we won't tell it that, will we??).

it's a saturday and really a long time since i've had a saturday at home doing nothing. It's 2pm and i've had breakfast in bed and am still in my PJs. it's great!! It's really gloomy outside and so...it's perfect. i only need a cup of tea and a great book and i think i'm set. oh...wait...maybe a change of environment outside like a beach view, a baywindow and a hunky guy to wait on my beck and call...now that would be perfect!!not that i have high expectations or anything.

it's been such a long time since i've had a break break. the thing about working life that is annoying is that everything is a routine and unlike uni, you don't have days off to recuperate from the craziness and routiness of it all. yes...i think i'm burnout and really need a holiday somewhere nice. I don't know what's been in the air but recently i've had friends who have gone overseas and who as you do when you are away write back to friends to keep them informed about your lovely vocations. oh my goodness!!! i could have murdered them when i went to work and opened my email to see lovely emails with attached pictures of them in snow sledges in Iceland or trekking in South America. it really made my Mondayitis a thousand times worse. sigh...

so...anyway...there you have it. a slight update as to where i'm now and i can't promise that i'll be more diligent with my posting but i'll try. Sigh...particularly since the era has ended now...and there is none of us oldies left in Gong anymore...well...except Rosie...but she doesn't count cos she went back and came back again. it's a very day in my life!! Ensui was my last hope to bring back Sosiego to play with me. sigh...oh well!! it's their life!!!

determination

It's been a week since "Technowhizz" had made a deal with me. The deal was I was to grow my fingernails (for those who don't know me...i bite my fingernails...an annoying habit to everyone but me really) in time for the wedding (no!!! not what you think...not my wedding...a friend's wedding) and will be rewarded with a manicure...(for those who know "Technowhizz", no...it's not a miracle that he came up with such a motivating plan...i did...he was still on the slapping my fingers and telling me off everything i had my fingers "remotely" close to my month...like my nose...or my ear...routine which didn't work!! DUH!!!!)
For a whole week...I didn't bite my nails. I mean yeah...ok...I did bite them...but not really like what I used to...and guess what?? They are growing!!! WOW!!! I'm GOOD, aren't I???? I mean...when I decide on something...i actually can pull it off, huh?? (okok...will stop now before you guys start gagging yourselves). though i don't really think they would be long and beautiful by the wedding which is in two weeks but...they would look decent which is better than the nasty bleeding fingers and dry cuticles (yes...it was that bad...can't actually blame "technowhizz" for resorting to such drastic measures...) i had before.
Now that I have realised that I have some form of determination...i might do something about my coffee addiction...or...maybe not...i mean afterall...if I do...I would have to change the title of this blog and frankly...that's too much work as we all know...hahahahahhahahah

drinking

I had a get-together with a few friends on the weekend which was fantastic!! And as girls are...when we go out for dinner...we had a couple of drinks. Now...i don't mind having a couple of drinks and being happy (mind you, that does not take long) but i don't like the feeling of having too much which to me means drinking to the point where everything is spinning out of my control and i lose track of what i'm doing or saying. I mean isn't that the purpose of drinking? to have a good time? not to be blindly drunk and do things that you would regret later the next day. i must admit in my younger days (because I'm so old...mind you i was the youngest in the group and drunk the least...what is that saying about me?) i have had too much to drink and drunk too quickly and paid the price the next day or rather that night itself. I remembered once when i was so intoxicated that i even scared myself with my jacket hanging on my door at night thinking it was a man in my room gonna kill me (talk about paranoia). However, everyone's preception of a good time is different. Having a good time to me might mean having a couple of drinks and being able to laugh about things and talk about stuff that I normally would be too shy to talk about. However, to someone else...getting "pissed" might be their idea of a good time. so...i guess it probably not really reasonable to judge people, is it? But that's not really my point for bring up this topic...it was more of isn't it interesting that no matter how old we are, the topic of drinking and comparing if we have ever been drunk... ... ...actually was there even a point to me bring up this topic? or my own ego of wanting to share my sad drunken story to everyone?hmmmm...

connections, connections, connections

Connections, connections, connections...this is soon gonna be the bad "C" word for me. Am currently looking for another job as my current contract is coming to an end. So my dear daddy dearest has taken upon him to get his "C"s for me...Sigh...and it's irritating me. I know, i know, it's not about how much you know but who you know. BUT really, I have not been consulted...doesn't anyone realise that the person who people are trying to help need to be consulted first?? I agree that "C"s are important but I would like to give it a short before I need to call in the family backup forces. I guess this is what you call retribution. I can't count the number of people whom i said that "C"s are important and it's is all about the "who you know". But it doesn't mean that i must practice what I preach, right?
Sigh...i'm doomed to whatever life my father's "C"s have for me...

venus vs mars

sigh...just got home from being at "technowhiz". Don't understand men. Am going through a fairly ambigous time in my life...and I wanted validation for my emotions...and all I got was practical advise which admitedly made sense but at the time, I wasn't ready for. and despite the many times I tell him that...he does not seem to understand. Is it that man operatus? To tune out when your gf is talking? like selective hearing?? what is it? I don't get it at all.
I suppose no wonder girls are becoming lesbians. I mean my girlfriends understand my emotions and will validate them (ok...so many of them have formal training as they are psychologist...but still...). In terms of emotional support, I guess a female can provide that better than a male...sigh...maybe i should switch camps?hmmmm.......

am bored...

i've been told to get off my arse and put up another post...of course not exactly the wordings that "techowhiz" used but the gist of it anyway.
I was meant to come home and do some work for a presentation tomorrow but I forgot to bring back the sheets with the data on them..so...it's gonna be a panic-streaken day tomorrow for sure. Thank goodness! I don't think I have any clients booked in. Just have to be on call for walk ins. Sigh...working life sucks!! It is over-rated. I can remember as a child dying to get out there in the "real" world (if i had one of those time changing thingys that they had on Harry Potter, I would have been on top of the world...oh hang on...was that clock going forward or backwards? anyways...) but now that I'm actually working...i think it's seriously over-rated. Waking up for an 8.30am start 5 days a week is not something I'm still trying to get used to and for some reason at the end of day light saving I am having an even harder time waking up. I would like to blame it on the inventors of the snooze button of the alarm clocks. If i didn't have the luxury of that button...who knows...i might actually be up on time or maybe get kicked out of my building complex for being too much of a disturbance in the morning...whichever came first...hahhahahha
But seriously, working is over-rated. You go in day in and day out and do the same thing over and over again. And the pay isn't really all that great...I mean after 6 years of education...i would have expected something more than what i'm getting at the moment. Also, as "Techowhizz" would always remind me, the income tax in australia is really high...it's daylight robbery!! what for?? for the Howard government to downside the Health sector, increase the budget for the military, pay ministers to change work place agreements against the workers...sigh...see...it's over-rated...
But I suppose there are highlights too...my team is great and well... there are some real odd balls in the team...but i guess that is what means it interesting and there is another contract worker, Ms Get my country right!! who is great to whinge to. Will explain...she is from the Netherlands and I for some reason...maybe it was something to do with the "Australian" princess, Princess Mary but I keep saying she is from Denmark. I just can't help myself...i'm sorry! anyway, Denmark is 2 syllabals and the Netherlands is alot more.
Sigh...maybe I'm feeling this way because I need a career change...maybe after studying psychology for 6 years...this is not meant for me? who knows...or maybe it's just the place i'm living in...Parramatta is not exactly New York or Sydney for that matter. i mean it is decent but still, there are alot of hoons around. For example, tonight, I went to Woolies (as one does on a Tuesday night at 9pm...and missed the ending of "dancing with the stars"...sigh...see what I've become...it is very sad) anyway...back to the story...i was driving out of Woolies car park on to the main street when this hoon (mind you, he was driving a Honda sport car) sped out from no where (obviously he had no concerns for his tyres as they were complaining under his foot). On top of that, the bastard didn't have his lights on...i mean HELLO!!! it's find if you wanna get yourself killed but i don't want to get into an accident...I was racing home to watch Rove Live!...did he not know anything?? my goodness!!! But that's typical of Parramatta young punks for you. On Thursday nights (late night shopping), young kids hang around the Westfield (a massive shopping centre) to pick up or get picked up...it's totally flirting going everywhere...totally oblivious to those who are actually there to shop...I have no problems with the flirting...just as long as they stay out of the walk ways and don't walk into me as their eyes are glued onto their target...teens these days...sigh...(look at me...I'm prematurely turning to a grandma!!!AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGgggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!

a morbid hello

today...i took a day off at work. (It's great working in the Health system, they allow you to have a day off every month.)

so...what did I do on this fantastic day off, you might ask? well... I went to uni to say hi to my supervisors and visit the clinic that was so much of my life the last 2 years. However, I was sadden to have found out that one of my supervisors (who is probably the most human of all the lecturers in uni) had been diagnosed with cancer and is apparently quite ill. Sigh...it always affects the ones that have so much to offer in this world.

Sorry!! guess this first inaugural posting is fairly morbid. I guess it also because at the moment I'm also reading the book, "Tuesdays with Morrie". A fitting book given the news I found out today. For those who are not familiar with the book, it's about the author getting back in touch with a lecturer and meeting for a "final class on life" as the lecturer is diagnosed with a terminal illness. So far so good, I guess. Will let you know more about it when I'm done. But the author is the same guy who wrote "the five people you meet in heaven" so i have high expectations of this book. Those who have read the book...ssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

On to another topic...for those who actually know me in person might find that this is very strange that I would be taken up by this whole blog idea. I must say...I have been to some extent been forced into this...well...not really bound and gagged but...definitely felt pressured to do so by my bf whom I will call "techno whiz". He has recently starting writing one of his own and I think he feels slightly vulnerable that I had access into his thoughts about things and he did not have an idea about mine. Nope...I'm not just talking about guy-gal planetary differences but just things in general as we don't see each other as often as we used to.

I thought I would hate this but...it's really not that bad...but we'll see as time goes by...